Tuesday, April 29, 2014

I've got friends in low places . . .

Word must have gotten around that I wanted to have a girls night out. I mean really gotten out, because I received an e-mail from a total stranger inviting me to go out with her friends. Weird, eh?

"Melanie" send me the following message (which went to my spam - idk why):

"Sarah and Suzy want a threesome with you tonight!"

and I'm  all "Well, It's kind of short notice,
I'll have to check my calendar . . ."

she continued . . .

"They've seen your profile and decided to message you."

and I'm like, "Hey, they must be Facebook friends of mine. I keep forgetting to check my private messages. Oops! Embarassing. Hope they haven't been waiting too long."

so then she asks a favor . . .  

"Go here to see their profiles and chat with them right now"

(and I would put in the link, but I think they sent the wrong pictures. Awkward!)

and then a couple questions . . .

"When is the most recent time you tried a one night stand or a threesome?"

and I'm all "What in the hay? Who uses more than one night stand?? Is that a new trend? You can't fit all your stuff on one, so you put two together? Weird. I'll have to try that out. Hmmm....threesome? If I tried to fit three nightstands on the side of my bed, I would have to dive on from the foot of the bed to go to sleep at night. No thanks.

I continue reading . . .

"The ladies you are about to meet here only want threesomes or one night stands !"

Wow. Talk about selective!  Well I only like ladies that are kind and accept me for who I am. Rude.

she ends with . . .

"If you're interested, perhaps you should definitely check'em out ... you will NEVER be single again.
Go here to enjoy a one night stand with two hotties, tonight !"

and I say to myself "Perhaps I should . . .NOT! Any ladies who only allow people with more than one nightstand to be their friends are friends I don't want.

So there.

There is a reason these things go to my spam box.
To help me choose good friends.  


Heffalump said...

You really dodged a bullet! Your house might have been taken over by night stands! And don't they know that no one wants to be a third wheel?

Yvonne said...

Yikes!!! I'm glad you have a GREAT sense of humor ; )