I was watching "Semi Homemade" with Sandra Lee (I only watch it because of her kitchen decor, not because she can cook. She's just good at drinking), and she said "I put a pretty little apron on in honor of my grandmother..." (or something like that. Like I said, I never listen closely to what she's saying) then, she says, "and it matches my window treatment :)"
Shoot.
I had no idea I was supposed to be doing this.
Anyone want to sew me an apron with matching window treatments?
"Why Carrot, don't you know how to sew??"
Look, I realize you think I am a master at everything, why, you probably think to yourself, "She can saw through wood 1/4" thick, make green bread, put together a whole green lunch, get out of her pajamas before everyone comes home at the end of the day, write awkward posts about trans-gendered Red Riding Hood, change her background in less than a minute..."
What can't I do, right?
Well, I must confess.
I cannot do everything.
Pretty close, but not everything.
For example, Exhibit 1:
"Uh...is that a...um...wait, is that a baseball bat made out of bread??"
Hardy har har. Anyone ever tell you how funny you are?
No? Good.
That, my "friend", is french bread.
Oh yes. It really is.
See how high it rose? How light and fluffy it is?
No? Me neither.
I cannot, for the life of me, make white bread.
It's like it knows it's not good for me, and just refuses to cooperate.
"What about your lovely green bread?"
That was a St. Patrick's Day miracle.
It has never, in the history of me, happened.
That's why I was all sad I dyed it green.
I could not fully appreciate that I had successfully made white bread, because it wasn't white.
Bummer.
So tonight, I turned to my friend, "Cuban Bread".
The Cubans love me, the French don't.
Because I am so nice, I will share the recipe with you.
The recipe I originally got from "The Tightwad Gazette".
Yes, not only is it easy, and delicious, it's frugal too!
Practically fail-safe! (if you fail at this, I don't want to know.)
In no time, you shall have your family "ooh-ing and ahh-ing" all over bread making talents. All the other talents you can leave to me.
Cuban Bread Recipe
16 comments:
Dang it! I knew there was something wrong with my aprons! I don't match my kitchen decor either! It's a tragedy. The horrors!
Come back Carrot Jello! I'll send you one of my aprons!
Only, you simply must tell me what color your kitchen is so I can attempt to have you matching! Ohh! Just imagine it. If you coordinate with your kitchen well enough, your family won't be able to find you when you're in there!
Oooooohhhh, AAAaaaahhhh.....
That bread looks yummy!
I am so trying that bread!
Carrot, use dough enhancer to help your white bread. I also use instant yeast.
Oh,....um...forgot to mention that you should head on over to my blog---I am doing a small giveaway...
Maybe you need to always put food dye in your white bread? perhaps it is the missing ingredient?
Also, if you just have curtains in your kitchen windows, i will think you're awesome. and most of the time i don't wear an apron in the kitchen. i just end up with stained or constantly dirty clothing.
If you say it's easy, I'll try to make my first loaf of bread. I've always avoided bread making (unless you count using a bread machine...that I killed). It's very lovely, by the way.
At Hancock's they had apron patterns printed on fabric, right next to the matching fabric with which you could make window treatments.
I will not lie...
I totally considered it.
I also will not lie: Lee is a lush.
My aprons are black (leftover from my days working at Fred Meyer) and everyone knows that black goes with everything!
If I were going to sew an apron to match my curtains, I would have to buy some more sheets!
I can sew you some if you want. I'm one of those crafty people everybody loves to hate. They're pretty quick and easy. I'm painting our kitchen soon and have to make new curtains anyways.
And yes, at our old house, my curtains in the kitchen matched my apron. I'm a dork, it's true.
Wow. I'm even more fashion challenged than I thought. I've never matched any of my window treatments!
Thanks for the recipe. Your generosity toward your readers is never-ending.
I can't make bread. Period. You amaze me with your Cuban bread making skills!
Umm...Sandra drives me crazy!
Hi Carrot, I love the new background roses!
"if you fail at this, I don't want to know"
Deal.
That's very nice looking bread Carrot.
Oh man, that second picture of the baseball bat bread is HILARIOUS!
It pretty much sums up my baking abilities.
WV: Haeryang
Not even kidding.
Rude.
Thanks for the bread recipe! Yours looks great!
My hubby is always wanting me to make bread, but mine never turns out. So I'm always looking for a better recipe!
Incidentally- my word verification was
dononts
and I could use a good recipe for those, too.
I don't know how to make ANY bread. I just con my daughter or husband into making it for me! :D
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