And then...

Carrot caught the dreadful disease called "C.R.S." and couldn't remember things in order!
*GASP*
So she decided to finish her story anyway because it was starting to scare people away.
Party of eight?
Have a seat.
Here we go!
Carrot thought Elastic was an amazing woman.
She worked really hard, went to school, and gave birth to SIX of the most polite children on the planet.
"Could I get you anything Carrot Jello?" they'd say.
"Would you like to have my seat Carrot Jello?" they'd exclaim.
And Elastic?
Elastic bought Carrot her very own towel, pillow, and pillow case, and a very nice hot pink "Easter" blanket with a black bunny on it.
Very similar to this one...





Unfortunately, Carrot didn't have enough room to bring that home with her, and conveniently accidentally left it under another blanket when she left.
Carrot wanted the Elastic experience.
Carrot wanted to throw papers, eat at Dumass Taco, and homeschool children.
O.k., maybe not that last part, but you get the idea.
So Elastic said, "Carrot, let's go to the mall."
Er...um...okay.
It was a thousand degrees outside anyway.
They shopped.
Oh! How they shopped.
For like...1/2 an hour.
Then the Infidels decided it was too cold, and that they need to "warm up" outside.
Carrot was cooking.
Cooking like the moment she first stepped into Elastics car.
She thought Elastics air conditioning might be broken, so didn't bother to ask if she could turn it on.
Elastic turned to carrot, and noticed a waterfall of sweat forming on Carrots top lip, and said, "Are you hot?"
"In more ways than one lady!"
"Yes" Carrot said meekly.
Elastic laughed, and said she didn't even realize it was hot.
Carrot knew she had a problem.
Anyhoo...
back to the mall...we stepped outside, and I was cooking...
Cooked Carrots? Har har.
(Hey, I never said I was a good storyteller.)
In the distance, Carrot spotted a boat!
Boat! Water! Cool Breezes!
Carrot pushed Elastic and her daughters onto the boat, and squeezed in behind "Captain Moses".
I kid you not.
Okay, maybe there was plenty of room, and I didn't have to squeeze in, but it sounds better.
Carrot quickly positioned herself directly below the air conditioner.
She rubbed her eyes.
She rubbed them again.













(sorry random lady with no face.)
"Ah", she said "The windows are cloudy, not my eyes, silly me!"
Carrot had heard that cloudy windows make the best tours even better!
She was making smart remarks conversation with Elastic and her daughters, when all of the sudden the people next to her moved.
Apparently, they wanted to hear was Moses was saying.
Whatever.
After a while, it was apparent to everyone that no one could understand Moses, no matter how rude Carrot was.
It was a bit like those bad drive through window conversations, with and accent thrown in.
A little old lady from the back said, "Are you speaking English??"
I guess Moses wasn't fast enough for her because she also said, "In my day, we went a lot faster than this."
It made Carrot wonder if Moses was just trying to save gas.
After the boat ride, heading out of the mall, Carrot noticed this,













And wondered if Texas was trying to save gas too.
Carrot felt sorry for Texas.
Carrot feels sorry for you. Having to read this.
This is why Carrots should never go on vacation.
Because they feel the need to recount every detail.
Pretty soon, Carrot will be in here talking to the walls.
I hope they want to hear about her vacation.
Later.
Because Carrot is going to bed.