Wednesday, January 16, 2019
Break on through to the other side...
I'd like to talk about these e-mails I keep getting.
I know they're sending them from other countries. I didn't just fall off the turnip truck. But the thing I can't figure out is why they're trying to get me to buy stuff I know they can't afford to ship.
I keep getting one e-mail about getting a bigger organ.
"Get a bigger organ!"
"Develop a larger organ!" (like I'm going to be inventing one sometime soon. What? are you selling plans?)
First of all, I don't even play the piano, let alone the organ, and secondly, do you really think they're going to ship me one when they can't even afford a keyboard that is missing so many letters, they have to use numbers to substitue?
"Get a bigger d1ck!"
Shows how much they know. I don't even have a deck.
Not every American has one, you know.
Gain 3" on your d1ck!
What good is that gonna do? Three inches on my deck??
Ooh, I could fit another wheel on the barbeque!
Sheesh.
Maybe they're trying to sell us this stuff so they can buy new keyboards. I never knew it was such a problem until I started getting all these e-mails.
It's annoying, but least they're being proactive about it.
It's almost inspiring.
Almost.
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26 comments:
First! :)
I know what you mean...I get those aswell and just like you, I have no deck and cant play the organ!
Silly people, really now...
:-)
You COULD play shuffleboard on a bigger deck!
I only give out my real e-mail to friends and family. I have a separate one for business (login info for banking, utilities payments, etc.), and another one for sites I'm SURE will end-up selling my addy to people who have broken keyboards. I also use an alias on those sites, so when I see an e-mail that says, "SALLY SHOPPER!!! Get a BIGGER ORGAN!" I know it's spam.
Wow, I never get those. They must already know about the size of my deck AND my organ.
They're both very impressive, yes.
Just so long as you keep your organ and your deck to yourself!
Glitter thinks your background here looks like fruit snacks, and she wants to eat them!
Maybe a bigger deck and organ help us find our happy place? But I'm not really even into organ music, so I'm just bewildered.
(And FWIW - if you can't whine you're sick and tired about life on your own blog - then where can ya? But if you started whining on our blogs, we'd clearly be forced to stage an intervention.)
So that's what they meant!
No wonder it never made sense. No one was trying to sell me a duck.
Thanks Carrot!
I just kept wondering why I needed a bigger dock. I mean, I don't even have a boat.
Did your pen1s ever arrive?
They should have shipped those a long time ago.
I sure wish they'd ship one of those fancy organs to our church, the one we have is broken. It's not the same singing hymns with the piano.
LOL! Hey I love your Goofus image... you have the coolest source of images. Blogs are absolutely the place to whine... either that or show off ;) They reflect your life... an online diary... a place for freedom of speech.
Which is why I love your take on your spam-mails. What is absolutely odd is that I never ever receive these on my work email or my ancient and most used yahoo email... but my gmail which i use merely to sign into blogger and other google places is just full of that in the spam box. At least it doesn't hit my inbox... how lovely would that be to see that amongst other emails? not i tell ya, not lovely.
I have nothing clever to add, but you say here I don't have to be clever.
So I guess I'll say "hi" then ... and add: that was a GREAT post! :-D
"Have you seen these organs? They're gi-NOR-mous!"
I used to have the same number/alphabet problem with my keyboard. Our brilliant younger brother diagnosed it as "K.I.D.S virus" and suggested I flip my keyboard over and vigorously shake it. A pile of cracker crumbs and dried out spaghetti noodles(!?!) came out. It worked, I was back in business.
Perhaps these overseas people have such successful organ performances that they have somehow attracted the "K.I.D.S. virus". Why don't you email them and tell them if flipping over their keyboard doesn't work, then they should try putting it in the dishwasher, that usually gets off the sticky apple juice.
Thanks for the laugh this morning!
I just had to check in and let you know that we're still alive... and at your gentle persistence, we'll try to get a new blog post up today. That's right, today. Maybe. :)
At least they aren't trying to sell you a pipe organ...imagine the shipping cost on that!
LOL! You get all the best e-mails! :D
I know how you feel. I don't need a bigger organ or deck either! And for the life of me can't figure out why they email me "give her a bigger bone". I'm not really trying to grow anymore! They may want to send this email to some short girl:)
i get those, too, no matter what service I try. Your take is definitely uplifting and brings a smile to my mind.....
sorry about your lost happy place. and the doors lyrics?..never would have thought those would ever come from you.
i never get those emails..thank goodness. but it's entertaining to read about the ones that you get. and i still have my pen1s.
Oh my....you've made me snort out loud. Now I need to go get a tissue.
I see your organ, and deck...and raise you some viagra!
You actually made me jealous that you get spam...
OK maybe not, I never understood though why they send ads for bigger decks to women isn't that something males are usually into? Then they can get bigger grills.
As for bigger organs...no thank you I don't want elephantitis.
I wish I had something really witty to say right now... I have inhaled too many cleaning products since I moved... The witty portion of my brain has no cells left.
BTW: Great post!!
Maybe they are talking about "dick" from Dick and Jane. My Mother is currently collecting old copies of "Dick and Jane". Maybe they have bigger Dick's for the seeing impared. Just a thought.
Possibly the organ could be like a heart or kidney or a bladder you know some people have "twb" (teenie weenie bladder). They want a new one for their vacations.
Sad...I never get emails about bigger decks. I feel so left out. Ted gets those emails all the time too.
haha
I know!! Someone told me my girth is massive. That's just not a polite thing to say to a curvy woman.
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