Dear (Insert your name here if you don't leave comments anymore),
I am so sorry to hear of your passing. I say this,
because I haven't heard from you in a while, and must
assume that you are dead.
(Either that, or guilt trips, and bribery don't work on you anymore)
Was it a wonderful funeral? Did you invite ___________ to
speak? I know how you loved her so. How about the
flowers? We're there ________ and ________ just like
you like? Did _______ and _________ attend? Did
________ sing that song you always wanted sung at your
funeral, you know the one called ________________? I
am so sorry to have to remove you from my blog list.
Although I never heard from you, I always held out
hope, that one day, you would leave me a comment. I would have
liked to hear about ________, and ___________. Did
they ever __________? And what about the
huge____________? Did you ever recover from the
__________ and ____________ of it? I'll miss your
_______ hair, and your ______ eyes. Your _______ is what
I'll miss the most. And all of those _________. I hope
your looking down upon me smiling, and watching. I'm sorry I won't be
hearing from you. I didn't even realize you were sick.
What a shock to find out you had passed on! I guess
you won't be able to make it for my birthday. Ah,
well, probably wouldn't have had a party anyway.
Well, have fun, wherever you ended up!
Love,
Carrot
29 comments:
I KNOW you aren't talking to me. smooches!
Oh look... Madlibs!
LOL, you should put (noun) (pronoun) (adjective) & (verb) in those lines.
Yes, where did ________ & _________ end up? I know *I'm* still here!
PS. I just awarded you an excellent blog award. Please pick it up here!
Cool background!
I've been buried.
My condolences.
I also just turned 40 and sometimes I think I leave comments.
My mind is going.
You know, after that letter, I have half a mind not to leave a comment.
Oh, dang. I just did.
Oh Carrot, Carrot.... I haven't heard from you lately, so I thought that our deep relationship was over.
So, I'm waiting....
Carrot visited me a few days ago (I know becuase I worte it in my diary "Dear Diary: You won't believe this!!! Today it finally happened! I thought I was dreaming but after I slapped myself really hard I realized I was, in fact, awake. Carrot Jello came to my blog....etc") so I know she's alive.
I am glad this post had nothing to do with me.
The End.
Dear Fred Fredburger,
I am so sorry to hear of your passing. I say this, because I haven't heard from you in a while, and must assume that you are dead.
(Either that, or guilt trips, and bribery don't work on you anymore)
Was it a wonderful funeral? Did you invite Jaws the goldfish to
speak? I know how you loved her so. How about the flowers? Were there stinkweed and carnations dyed green just like you like? Did Captain Kangaroo and Mr. Green Jeans attend? Did Chris Farley sing that song you always wanted sung at your funeral, you know the one called The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota? I am so sorry to have to remove you from my blog list. Although I never heard from you, I always held out hope, that one day, you would leave me a comment. I would have liked to hear about your hair transplant, and your Aunt Hilda's worm farm. Did they ever see the light of day again? And what about the huge boil on your butt? Did you ever recover from the smell and throbbing of it? I'll miss your
missing hair, and your eye-diaper-needing eyes. Your double chin is what I'll miss the most. And all of those elves that mocked you behind your back when you weren't looking. I hope your looking down upon me smiling, and watching. I'm sorry I won't be hearing from you. I didn't even realize you were sick. What a shock to find out you had passed on! I guess you won't be able to make it for my birthday. Ah, well, probably wouldn't have had a party anyway.
Well, have fun, wherever you ended up!
Love,
Carrot
(That was fun. Let's do it again sometime) :)
Is it okay that I pre sent flowers to myself?
I actually didn't die....just crawled under a rock. No computer there.
Hmm...I wonder how many people came to my funeral?
I came, I read, I commented.
The End...
I don't see a blog list anywhere...does that mean we're all dead??? :( Oh, maybe you have a private list! :)
Okay... so I haven't been the greatest commenter... but I'm not dead! Just lazy :)
I really do try to comment, but your commenters are just too clever and i sound like an IDIOT!!!
I'm only mostly dead.
*smooch*
Oh, silly Carrot! I am not dead. It is just that I got stuck in the ice cream freezer at the grocery store a few weeks ago (please don't ask, but it was delicious) and by the time the employees found me and managed to pry my nearly-frozen body out from between the cartons of Moose Tracks and Mint Chocolate Chip (with a crowbar, and eventually, a forklift), I had frostbite on all of my digits. They fell off. It makes typing rather difficult. As a matter of fact, I'm typing this with my chin and the little bit that is left of the tip of my nose.
I may never eat ice cream again, though, because it's just not the same having to eat it without a spoon.
I designed the perfect little black dress for the commenter funeral. It has built-in Hot Pocket warming pockets so you can actually cook the after funeral meal during the funeral.
May they rest in peace.
oooOOOOoooh Millie should Mad Lib this one! I would enjoy it heartily me thinks ;D
Work keeps me away more than I would like right now;)
I'm with TTL. I'm not commenting on this.
Millie stole my idea.
Yvonne feels the same way I do.
AND after I read your posts I realize anything I say will sound dorky and take away from your creative, funny, writing ability.
I don't want to be the death of your commenters.
I do love you though.
Awww, you miss me!
Mille stole my idea too. Dang her! But she was very clever I should say so. Was I ever on your blog roll????
BTW you would cut me on your blog roll because I do not comment. It would be more like I never post:)
I was waiting for you to send flowers before I buried my computer, but the rigor mortis has come and gone and advance decay has set in, but no flowers, not even a note from you! Alas. I must now use my husband's work computer and leave my grieving heart behind with the cold corpse of my IBM.
I'm back from the dead! :D
Here's the deal...I had a wedding approaching, and much to do. I was addicted to blogging, and wasting WAY too much time! I had to get tough with myself and pretty much QUIT READING BLOGS (aaaggghhh!!!) for almost a month! It was REALLY hard. My daughter didn't count, because she's my daughter and the bride and all, so I read and commented on her stuff. Anyhoo...I couldn't read and just go away without commenting, because I've NEVER been a lurker type of people person thing! I am all about the comments...that's the only reason I blog! So I couldn't allow myself to come around and take a peek. My poor hand would have been drawn to the mouse, index finger convulsing in pain, just DYING to leave a comment, even a lame-o one like usual!
But I'm back from the dead! :D
Too funny! LOL
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