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Don't drive your daughter and her friends to cross country practice in your pajamas and uncombed hair.
If someone is tailgating you (or you think they are), don't slam on your brakes, and then speed up, because it could be a cop in that white, unmarked S.U.V. right behind you.
If a copper happens to pull you over because you were going 40 in a 25 trying to get away from him, just sit there and be quiet.
If he seems to be lecturing too long, don't say to him, "You can just give me a ticket". Just be patient.
If he says to you, "I'd rather educate you than give you a ticket...", Don't think to yourself, "Uh...duh...let me get my pencil and paper", because that would be sarcastic thinking. It's bad, and wrong.
If he wants to know what you're doing pulling into a nature trail park at 7:30 a.m. with a few teenagers in your car, do not think to yourself, "Uh...duh...I thought I'd bring my teenage friends to the next town at 7:30 a.m. and smoke doobies, do you mind?", because that would be sarcastic thinking. It's bad, and wrong.
If don't happen to have a spare $400 sitting around to fix your van, so you have to drive the other van your husband bought, you might want to make sure he actually registered it in his name. It might look bad. Maybe like you stole it to go smoke doobies with your underage friends.
If a copper pulls you over, and lets you go, just leave. Don't think of things you wish you could have said to him. Things like, "Must not be too much going on in this town if you called for back-up!" when you notice another police car pulling up. He was nice and didn't give you a ticket. Just be quiet.
27 comments:
You mean you didn't go to jail?
Those coppers are wayyyyy nicer'n the Provo cops.
(don't ask me how I know this)
I had my door kicked in and watched my husband get shoved onto the floor while I got handcuffed by nice cops. The guns in our faces and yelling didn't help either.
Of course, once they figured out that they had drug busted the wrong house, they felt pretty sheepish. I was just happy I got my robe on before they busted into my bedroom, or they would have seen my in my skivvies...
Sweeeeeet. Doobies. And you didn't offer the nice cop one?
p.s. its really 1:45 am here. don't rub it in...my neighbors are jerks. I need some nice cops to come stop them.
Doobage!
(just wanted to shout that)
Yeah, I should say "Just be quiet." The last cop I met up with didn't believe my son that we'd had an intruder. He thought Brennan liked calling the cops for fun - hey, around here, a lot of stupid kids probably do that. Brennan was "too calm." Apparently, since Brennan didn't wet himself, he was lying.
The cop before that DID give me a ticket, and the cop before him too. I just now have my license back. Oh yeah! I was a criminal!
Did you want cop-hating stories? :)
Ok, these are all very good tips and valuable life lessons.
And what was a cop doing tailgating you in the first place? I'd call him a jerk, but then he didn't give you a ticket, so... I guess you're even.
Ohhhh man! Glad you didn't get a ticket.
HOLY cow! You sure met up with a nice cop! Maybe it was the attire that spared you more trouble. Seriously, when I go smoke doobies with the kids at that early in the morning, I always have on my clothes and running shoes so I can flee those cops FAST!
We just got a ticket for doing 47 in a 25 Friday night. $194. :( Harlan was driving, thank goodness or we would have been hauled in for psych eval.
Those are some good tips.
I drive kids to school in pj's with my uncombed hair all the time. I shall start carrying a hair brush with me.
Just in case.
Heh, heh... You had a rough day.
Glad you didn't get a ticket.
Oh, Carrot. You really ought to lay off the doobies and the underage doobie partners.
(Word verification: gumbo)
My favorite part is that you were in your pjs, hair fresh-out-of-bed GOOD. Oh yeah.
(did the cop ask for your phone number?)
It must have been your aura of kindness and beauty that blinded into foregoing his commision cut from a speeding ticket.
Your birthday is coming up soon, do you want a tongue ring to go with the holes you pierced in it from biting it so hard?
Oh my goodness, thats funny! :) Glad you didnt get a ticket or something more serious!
I'll try to remember all that. I'm not so good at 'membering things, but I'll try.
Especially next time a cop pulls me over and gives me a warning for not stopping at a stop sign that doesn't exist. That's right. A stop sign that was a figment of his imagination.
Excellent tips. Glad you got off this time--I don't know if you can blog in jail.
Carrot, I'm glad you didn't get the ticket! What a relief! :)
Bad day? Glad you didn't get a ticket!!
Please tell me that Heffalump's comment wasn't for real! Talk about a bad day!
Last time I got pulled over by a cop was immediately after I accidentally ran a red light and almost hit his car!
Actually, I pulled MYSELF over and waited for him, then burst into hysterical tears because I could have killed him or myself, running that red light because I was dumb and not paying attention.
I got a ticket anyway. ;)
It's so hard not to be snarky sometimes... but you made the right choice to not say those things at the time! Good for you :)
That sounds like it was a close one! I once had one of those "lucky days"
Sooo you weren't really doobin' it up then?
...DANG! I thought I might have to join you next week.
I'm usually too upset and angry to think up witty snarky remarks. I only keep thinking ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap...
Just hi and I love this post. And I love that he let you go but you still had snarky thoughts. Yeah baby!
About a year ago I got a ticket for going 40 in a 25 when I was taking my son to early morning seminary. $84 later I'm still pissed off about that, be thankful you only got a lecture.
I'm so glad you didn't get the ticket.
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