Oinkle Doinkle

Don't you love it when I'm completely self-absorbed on my blog?
I know I do.


Yeah right.

You were all like,
"AWKwarrrd!"

And stood around like you didn't know whether to pat me on the back, or just leave without saying anything.
Ahh...good times. Good times.
Oh well.
Here's a convo from work tonight:
Me: ~sitting in a chair in front of "Wheel Of Fortune"~
~Pardon me, my parenthesis and asterisk no longer work on my keyboard~
Okay...
Me: So, I think I'll go clean the bathroom.
Her: Can't you just sit still!?
Me: Um, I guess I can clean it later.
Her: We have "Wheel Of Fortune" to watch!
Me:
"But Carrot, just read a book!"
Well, I was reading Angela's Ashes, but I forgot it at home.
She almost gets offended if I read and don't guess the puzzles with her.
Oh well. Such is life.
"Hey Carrot! Tell us how you hurt your back at work so you took Monday and Tuesday off."
What? I don't know what you're talking about.
"Yeah, you know! Remember? When you dropped your client on the floor?
Oh yeah, that.
Well, I didn't exactly "drop" her on the floor.
I slid her down onto the floor.
You see, she wanted to sit on the side of the bed for a few minutes before I swung her into her chair, and she was too close to the edge so she started to slide down as I was valiantly trying to swing her into the chair.
"And you weren't strong enough?"
Well, had she not been laughing, I probably could of done it, but the laughing made it harder to save her from going down.
Then I did something to my back as I tried one last heave.
I had to call the paramedics to come lift her off the floor, but I did make her as comfy as possible while she was down there.
So yes, I did take Monday and Tuesday off.
"What'd you do on your days off?"
Well, the first day I was pretty good about not doing a single thing.
Then the second day I started feeling guilty about not showering, and cleaning, and keeping up on the laundry which I had finished down to the very last washcloth last week.
Sooo, I started thinking about that paint I bought a year ago, and how it's just been sitting on the attic stairs all lonely-like, and I ended up painting my bathroom while I was on pain pills.
"What color?"
Mud brown.
"Ohhh."
And to make it look even more mud-like, I added texture to it. So now it's like grainy mud.
Alll over the walls.


~My sister "Trixie" gave me that picture, and she had no idea I had paint sitting in my attic that would match EXACTLY. Neither did I.~

And....
I love it.
It hides every flaw in the walls.
In fact, I might just texturize my whole old house.
....Next year.
If you have an old house, I highly recommend it.
Oh wait.
Chances are, you live in a new house.
I think everyone and their grandma lives in a new house these days.
Except me.
I live in my grandma's house.
'Tis okay because I'm a good mom.
Even if you don't want to pat me on the back.
Just ask my baby how nice I am...

Not every mom let's her baby keep the almost empty frosting container he found, put him on top of the table and let him eat it in his diaper.
See how happy he is?
It makes you happy doesn't it?
And now you are convinced that I am a good mom.
"No Carrot, you just wanted to sneak a picture of your baby in, didn't you?"
Yes, I did.