Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Hello friends.







Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have an outhouse in your very own home?
Yes?
Forget all those cheap outhouse imitation kits!
For a limited time, you can try our offer, in your home, for free!
Yes! For free!
No strings attached!
Just have your four year old pee in his trash can*, and assume that since your husband was the one that told you about it, that he actually cleaned it up.
Yes!
It really is that easy!
But remember! Let it sit for a few days, then wander in the room with the intent to clean, and empty the trash.
Walk over to the trash can, pick it up and turn it over, emptying it into your trash bag.
Gently pull the trash can away from your garbage bag, while simultaneously breathing in that never-been-cleaned latrine smell, and wondering why there is brown liquid dripping from the trash can.
Yes, It really is that simple!
But hurry! This is a limited time offer extended to only a special few.
You won't be sorry!**


*Hey, at least he's out of pull ups, eh?
*Okay, maybe you will be.

28 comments:

Mama said...

Why do men do stuff like that? I see why chicks are lesbians.

0_0

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Are you saying that I am welcome to pee in your trash can when I come to visit? Woooooooow! I love it because iuts portable. I can pee anytime, anyplace in one of those!

Hopefully I can find some trash stuffed inside to wipe with. I'm not a complete animal, you know.

Heidi said...

oh nooooo! men... they think cleaning up is telling the woman of the house someone made a mess!

NOBODY said...

You know, I'm trying to figure out the manuevering it takes to pee in a trash can when you are 4. Maybe you have a short trash can. That must be it.

I bet lesbians never pee in trash cans.

Heffalump said...

My now seven year old used to pee in one corner of the extra bedroom when he was a couple of years younger. He only did it at night because he was afraid to come downstairs and use the bathroom at night.
That room has ugly yellow shag carpet and yellow and brown wallpaper, so the pee smell went right along with the decor. Eventually we got him to stop doing that.

Stacey said...

That is EXACTLY what my hubby would do! He would tell me and then just assume I would rush right in to clean it up while he gets back on his computer. MEN!

We now have a new diaper genie just because my hubby didn't want to clean the old one. Granted the old one was about 3 years old but sheesh!! Lazy much??

Stacey said...

A diaper champ not genie. Just sayin'.

Acacia said...

Ugh. A little trick taught to me by a pregnant woman who would vomit every time she entered a bathroom...those little paper masks for painting a room? Keep those in your cleaning kit. If you pinch the little metal bar across the nose you won't have to encounter any unfortunate smells you weren't expecting.

Deena said...

Minus one million husband points.

Super Happy Girl said...

You know that saying ""Don't look a gift horse in the mouth"?
Yeah, that doesn't apply here.

Hey It's Di said...

I had a sleep walker that went to the kitchen, opened the fridge and peed in it. Go figure! The next day I couldn't imagine how the lemonade had spilled all over...until I got a whiff!

aubreyannie said...

ew. no thank you.

Kate said...

Okay...sick. I'm out.

Anonymous said...

You know of all the places I've caught my boys relieving themselves I'm kinda really glad the trash can isn't one of them...

Big EWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Randi said...

Note to self: look in trashcan before emptying.

It was the pouring part that got me.
Ewwww.

Yvonne said...

Yikes--sorry.

Anonymous said...

We approve!!

Millie said...

I figure if my husband is going to tell me about something like that without cleaning it up himself, he deserves to sleep next to it for a few nights.

On the other hand, he obviously thought you were a cleaning genius. My husband would think "It'll be years till she gets around to this," and sigh and clean it up himself.

OK, maybe I'm not that bad. But still.

Lisa said...

Once I was sitting at my kitchen table that overlooked our neighbors swingset. Out walked the boy--probably around 5'ish and walked over to the flowers and totally went pee right on them. I was cracking up and so glad he was peeing on his own flowers and not mine.

Glad it was in your trash can and not mine. ewww.

Linda ★ Parker's General said...

Hubby had afew too many beers one night right after we moved into our present home. He got up in the night and walked the path to the old bathroom. He ended up on our new deck, in his briefs, locked out! He woke up and had to sneak around to the front of the house(the street side) and knock on the window till I woke up. Now that's not as gross as peeing in the trash but it's just as funny. Hubby quit drinking very soon after that. I still love to tell the story.....
Solution: Take away his trash can!

Jillybean said...

I think you might have just solved the mystery of that stuff in our garbage can.

thanks.

Nancy Face said...

EWWW! Stale pee fragrance!

SuzanneF said...

That reminds me...To train a dog, I think I read somewhere that you serve its next meal at the spot where he peed.

Melissa said...

You know... I've stopped assuming that my husband has cleaned up messes. Love him to bits, but, eh, yeah. :S

Physcokity said...

When did your four year old read my blog?

I'm hoping that "gift horse" doesn't have a mouth. Talk about nightmarish...

Lisa said...

Each time I see your title I bust out in song....

Hello friends it's nice to be here with you in primary. I'll help you and you'll help me. We'll be happy as can be. (Is that even right?)

Yeah, I'm in primary.

Sister Pottymouth said...

That's disgusting.

One time, when my husband was little (and hopefully he doesn't find out I shared this), he spent the night at his oldest sister's apartment. When he woke up and needed to relieve himself, the bathroom was occupied. He was so desperate that he peed behind their couch and didn't tell anyone. I've always wondered how long it took them to wonder what that smell was....

Busy Bee Lauren said...

Oh my gosh.
(shudder)