So I get this e-mail, from a gal named "Oksany" the other day.
She titles it, "Come Rock My World"
and I'm all like,
"Uh oh, somebody thinks I'm a rock star again..."
I get that a lot.
Looks like the rumor has traveled to Russia.
So she starts out, "Hello, my dear friend..."
and says,
"Yong woman is looking for her soul,..."
and I'm like,
Well, I don't know anybody named Yong woman.
Maybe she's in China, I don't know.
And if she's looking for her "soul",
well...I can't help you there.
Maybe send her to church?
Then she says, that "Yong woman" wants to "create a relationships,"
and I'm thinking that whoever this "Yong" is,
it sounds like she's a bit of a megalomaniac.
I mean, who goes around creating relationships?
Maybe God, but definitely not Chinese women looking for their "soul".
No offense to the Chinese.
I'm sure no other ethnicity has those powers either.
Oksany writes that while Yongs at it,
she wants to "be happy and be loved".
and I'm like,
"Oh sad, she just wants my approval, and she thinks she can do it by pretending she has ethereal powers."
Oksany, writes on...
"I am waiting for you my sole!"
and I'm like, "WAAAIT a second! Is she waiting for shoes or ordering fish?"
and when did this turn into Oksany's wants, instead of Yongs??
Oh, and listen to what she springs on me next,
"I am nearby"
Okayyy, that is t.m.i.
Are you trying to be creepy?
Because you are, and you better back off Jack!
Then she adds,
"and I believe that you are also close"
Well, duh. If you are nearby, then obviously, I am close.
I'm guessing she was top 10% of her class.
Of course she ends it with a website and some numbers (and no, I did not click on it), and...
"All the best
Oksany".
What is that supposed to mean?
Isn't she Oksany?
She wants me to have all the best Oksany?
What is Oksany?
Is it fish?
Are they shoes?
The last thing I need is a mystery to solve!
What do you think?
I thought it was someone that wanted my autograph, but now I'm not so sure.
And what do you thinkg about all the quotation marks?
Do you think I used enough?
Because I could go back and put some more in.
I am here to please you.
16 comments:
I think Oksany had to add woman to Yong because without it, it's a question whether Yong is male or female.
Come to think of it, maybe Oksany is a man setting up Yong for you? Hmmmm, maybe Oksany is setting you up like James O'Keefe set up ACORN.
Oksany is a liar and a cheat! She sent me the same e-mail too!
I thought I was special. :(
I guess this confirms I'm not sexy, I didn't get the e-mail ; (
She's an olympic skater.
I still think you're a rock star. If I ever get to meet you I will totally ask for you autograph!
You AREN'T a rock star?
I have photographic proof somewhere that you are a rock star. I think it was a post you did and you were going to go play rock band somewhere and posted a picture of you all ready to ROCK! Yeah...
wv=oucticra...is that the name of your Rock Band?
Not enough exclamation points!!!!!!!
Oh and why is my name underlined? Not to be ungrateful or anything but just wondering. Ok I'll admit it. It's really bugging me.
P.S. Your comment cracked me up!
My initial response is "Come on baby let me know....."
Wow. You've got some real special friends/stalkers!
Wha-huh?
I'm just plain confusered.
better than big pen1s....just sayin.
I don't know if I've de-lurked here yet or not. Just thought I'd let you know that I think you're hilarious :) You make me laugh. A lot. and I enjoy laughing :)
Oh, and I got this email too :p apparently, she gets around ;)
"Well, duh. If you are nearby, then obviously, I am close. "
LOL.
just give her the soul back Jello
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