Wednesday, January 16, 2019

I would just like to say

...that I don't like diaper cakes.

Because I know you were wondering.

Not that you were going to throw me a baby shower or anything, because I'm definitely out of the baby stage, but I'm guessing you've been wanting my opinion on this for a while now.


Because I'm psychic like that.


People think they're so cute, but when you undo the cake to use the diapers?
The diapers fall everywhere.

(After you've unpinned the socks,
teddy bears and the various sundries attached to it.)

And they're misshapen.
I don't know about you, but I like 'em flat and straight out of the package.
Wouldn't it better to buy a cake, buy some diapers, eat the cake, put the diapers in a cute basket, throw the cake leftovers away, and let the mother-to-be set the basket of diapers somewhere in the baby's room?
Or better yet, tie a bow on the diaper package!
Who made this up anyway?
Somebody with a little too much time on their hands, that's who.
Idle hands are the devils tools don't ya know.
Maybe Satan himself did.
He invented Kitty Litter cake.
Mmmhmmm, I know that's right.
Maybe he's a baker.
Sure, first it starts with innocent baby diaper cakes, but before you know it, they'll be serving adult diaper cakes at 80th birthdays.
Ben Gay icing, and Metamucil sprinkles.


















Doesn't seem so innocent anymore, does it?
It will spawn just like circus peanuts did.
And we all know where that took us.
You just watch.

And when you watch (in horror, of course) don't say I didn't warn you.


10 comments:

Tire Swing Mom said...

Circus peanuts. That's funny. Jerry Seinfeld refers to them as door stoppers in his book "Halloween"... "What's this? The orange marshmallow shaped like a peanut? Yeah, we got all the door-stops we need already, thank you very much. We're going for name brand candy only."

Kristi said...

If only you had posted this before my moms birthday last week! I would have known just what to make for her!

Heffalump said...

Just the words "Diaper Cake" conjure up all kinds of horrifying scenarios involving chocolate frosting and such.
Hey maybe we could make up a new baby shower game where everyone gets a slice of diaper cake, and whoever finds the hidden tootsie roll in their piece gets a special prize!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I wonder if a party stripper would jump out of an adult diaper cake?

Stephanie said...

Edgy, really edgy.

Tarnation said...

So funny...except the part about throwing away the leftover cake.

Tori said...

I actually have had the same thoughts. I don't get it... I have a friend who has a small business making diaper cakes... I still don't get it.

Yvonne said...

I'm sitting here laughing about the 80 year old "adult diaper cake"--I guess because I'm closer to that age than the other ; )

mindyluwho said...

I had to look up "diaper cake"...eww. Somehow "diaper" and "cake" don't sit well with the stomach!

Katie said...

This is hilarious! My mom and friend are giving me a shower on Saturday and my mom asked two of my neighbors to make a diaper cake! I will have to post a picture of it just for you! ;)