waiting for the clerk to bag up my groceries,
because I'm lazy like that, and he asks,
"Do you want a hand out?"
*Cut to me looking incredulous and confused*
I know I'm not dressed in my finest clothes,
but who asks that?
Do I want a hand out?
Sure, I turned down the Easter Seals donation,
but I paid cash for these groceries buddy, do I look like I need a hand out??
I said, "WHAT?"
He's like, "do you want a hand out?"
I think to myself, "Hmm, maybe he means a piece of paper! Like an Easter Seals handout!"
"A HAND out?" I ask
He says, "Yeah, like a hand out to your car?"
Like, what are you lady? Slow?
And I say (all smart like) "You need to put the right emphasis on the right word."
Like hand OUT would have made perfect sense.
Not really.
and he says, "Oh."
and I'm like...like...feeling really stupid so I left quickly.
I am on a roll my friends. On a roll.
In other news,
there's this;
Wynonna's new CD inside boxes of Alli!
You know,
in case the explosive diarrhea warning didn't tempt you to buy it the first time.
17 comments:
Amen. They ought to sell that stuff with a box of Depends.
Isn't ExLax cheaper and equally effective at discouraging one from eating anything again?
Is that all the Alli scientists could come up with to discourage over-eaters? Really?!?! How long would someone tolerate the effects of Alli and continue to take it?! I wonder if they did tests on rats to see how long they would use the product and figure out the correlation between turning their stomachs inside out.
Love the exchange at the grocery store ; )
I know nothing about alli, and I think I'm glad.
I don't know what alli is but I like the idea of going on an all-natural Wynonna purge&cleanse of my bowels.
Wynonna: Now crooning country songs for your colon!
Ohhhh Lerooooyyy, I love it when you wrap yourself around me just like coiled inner intestines..."
Alli freaks me out.
But not as much as Wynonna does...
NO ONE says "Want a hand out?"
Seriously.
The only thing I could think of was like a Young Women's hand out or something. Haha!
The question should be, "Would you like help out to your car?" The word is HELP grocery store bagger!
Here I was, all prepared to see what he handed out to you.
Explosive diarrhea?! I'll pass, thanks. It's not really my kind of weight loss system.
Sitting on toilet vs. having a life. No hard choice there.
Was it the same guy both times? Maybe he is a secret spy from another country...
I wouldn't mind a hand out.
So my butt will feel like it's on fire but I can lose weight. Gee,where do I sign up?
Gives a new meaning the phrase,"burning ring of fire".
Hey now, I actually tried this out and it did NOTHING! NADA. ZIP.
I must have iron cast bowels.
Or is it cast iron? Hmmmm.
By the by---I hate the way the most people talk---they don't
ENUNCIATE!!
How funny, I have been thinking about that Mike Meyers movie where he's training the flight attendants and tells them "You put the wrong em-PHAS-es on the wrong sy-LAB-us". Stupid lines been stuck in my head all day. Now you just went and recemented it. Thanks a lot.
And Lisa is right. He should be asking if people want HELP out. What a total dweeb.
A hand out...
har har har
Alli...EWWW!!!
I would have thought he was talking about those free coupon handout things for grocery items that no one actually buys!
I like country music, sometimes, and I love free stuff. But sorry a free lame wynnona cd for buying lame diet pills is just not that tempting.
WOW! Oily Discharge and Wynonna? What a great combination!
I'm thinking, as I read this, that you should go to the grocery store everyday. And then come home and blog. I love your grocery store posts.
But then, your last line just made me snort. ANd it had nothing to do with grocery stores. So, well...
Carry on!
you actually said that to him? corrected his grammatical emphasis? you are bold, carrot. bold, i say.
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