A while back, I was at a friends house, quietly doing my business in the bathroom. Yes, I conduct all of my business in the bathroom, don't you?
All of the sudden, I looked up on the wall and saw a sign like this...
So I asked myself, "Here? Right now? In the bathroom?"
Alrighty.
So I let out a little, "Woohoo!" right before I exited.
My host, a little confused, asked if I was okay when I came out.
I said, "Oh, I was just celebrating family in the bathroom. Like the sign said."
Needless to say, the next time I came back, the sign was gone.
Now, I can see how that sign makes sense.
Maybe not in the bathroom, when I'm not really thinking about celebrating anything, but perhaps by the front door.
"Celebrate family"...going out the door.
That sign gives me direction.
Makes sense.
But how about those one word signs?
They give my no direction.
Take, for instance, this one...
Home?
Is this in case people hit their head and forget where they are?
"Wait! Where am I?? Oh, home. Yes."
It's kind of green, and mossy. Is this to remind you that you need to power wash your house this summer?
Your home is old, you need a new one, you're taking donations?
What is it for?
Picture this;
You sit down to eat popcorn and watch a movie, when suddenly you see this sign...
Is this a reminder to get some friends?
You are friendless. You need friends.
Why don't you just hang up a sign that says, "cry" or "pathetic" right next to it?
Hey, maybe you'll get some friends if you put an command next to it!
How about, "Friends" and "Quick!" or "Friends" and "Now!"?
I don't know, maybe you hung it up so people know you have friends.
If that's the case, you might want to take it down. No need to declare anything.
Frankly, you're just embarrassing yourself.
This next one, I'm pretty sure is going to offend someone, because it's pretty popular...
Oh yes. The old, "believe" sign.
*Cut to me, sitting on your couch, staring at your sign*
I think to myself, "Hmmm....believe. Believe in what? What do they want me to believe? Are they trying to brainwash me?!?"
and then I run out.
No, I wouldn't do that.
Actually, I'd sit there and think, "Believe is a weird word. It doesn't even look like a word. I wonder how they came up with a word like that. It's like fork..."
Yeah, that's right, I'm not sitting there believing anything. Which pretty much defeats the purpose of that sign. You should take it down. It's useless. Unless it says something like "eat". In which case I'd have no problem following directions.
20 comments:
"Is this to remind you that you need to power wash your house this summer?" - awesome. The whole post was great. :)
One lady I visit teach has NOTHING but words all over the place. I always feel the need to read her living room wall before I sit down. It takes a good 45 seconds - kind of awkward.
Did you really "woo hoo" in the bathroom? I bet your host wondered all kinds of interesting potty-related things about you.
yes, I really did.
We have a "Believe" sign, but it's for Christmastime and if you can't understand it, then I can't help you! ;) That, however, is the only one word sign I own!
And I was even first.
*Sniff*
Your host must be a wonderful family mother, one who is very concerned about the happiness factor in her home in all places. What a tribute to her that during an otherwise mundane task you were able to celebrate. Some hostesses just "get it". You should visit her more. I have put a new "celebrate carrot" sign under my kitchen sink.
I think the sign should have said, "Celebrate Fiber."
I guess a sign in the bathroom could make sense, but only if it said something useful like "flush" or "wash". For those of us with little boys in the house. But still. If I'm looking to spend time decorating a room in my house, the bathroom is not that high up on the list.
We have become the culture of Captain Obvious... although that Home sign would come in handy for drunks.
remember this in Roses's (dad's receptionists) bathroom? "If you sprinkle while you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the seatie"
Maybe that sign IS the friend. Maybe it's the only one they have. And you just ripped on them. Now they have a wooden sign for a friend and a random Carrot ripping on them.
You know, I wouldn't mind signs that told me to do stuff. I'd like a sign that said Jump. But I'd like it to be polite, so maybe Jump, please.
I don't like too many signs or words or whatever---I love to read and I will find myself reading signs over and over and over and over---well, you get the idea.
yo, carrot. those potatoes look toxic. was the celebrate family sign REALLY gone the next time. cuz that is hilarious.
It was. I asked her today, she gave it away.
This was a hilerious post. I was laughing so hard I had to explain to my boss why, trying not to tell I was on the internet instead of working.
I should have this sign: 'work'.
A good bathroom sign would be WIPE.
You need to have a contest for people to come up with the best signs.
Humor related to potty or reproduction is not allowed.
Just an idea ;)
Great post!
oh I am still laughing - I loved this post! you are so much fun!!!
F-U-N-N-Y
That's the sign I'm making for you using my own mitre box. I'm going to paint it orange and green so it reflects the shades of a lovely carrot jello.
Of course then you'll probably write a bout musing about how I implied that you're funny looking or smell funny or talk funny or walk funny or chew funny, but that's a chance I'm willing to take.
You are just SOOO FUNNY! :D
I love the idea of an "EAT" sign. That would be perfect for my house ; )
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