First I thought, how nice would that be?
Just fly around and poop wherever, whenever.
That must be where the old saying came from.
How many times have you heard people say,
"I don't give a flying piece of...crap" or something similar?
Like you're not gonna give me a piece of crap.
Darn it.
Sure would like one.
And a flying one? Well, that would be awesome.
Like the best present ever, if only you'd give one.
No really, I don't care if you gave one, because I wouldn't want it.
Now that we've got that settled, and speaking of crap...
Folks, have you ever accidentally dropped your rancid lipstick into your water bottle, and found that it didn't taste half bad?
Well, you're in luck!
Now at Target, you can find this...
Archer Farms cucumber water
Which tastes exactly like rancid lipstick water!
Don't thank me, thank Target!
Where's the cucumber?
No idea.
Maybe that's the color of the lipstick.
It went rancid because no one wanted it.
In this economy, Target probably didn't want to waste money,
so they threw it in the water.
And speaking of false advertising, I also tried this...
Archer Farms beauty fortified water.
( can't get my pictures off my camera, so I had to "borrow" these images.)
Yes, I drank the whole bottle of "water", strengthened with beauty.
Who donated their beauty, I don't know, but they must not have been too good looking because it did nothing for me, and didn't taste that great either.
*sniff*
Let me leave you with one more bad thing, only because I'd like to stop thinking about it.
Somebody needs to stop Sandra Lee from cooking.
Maybe she could have a
"how to decorate your kitchen differently everyday!" show or something instead.
*sigh*
Here you go.
*shudder*
24 comments:
Someone who probably checked "beauty donor" on their license and died a tragic but ugly death.
Mmmmm.....I'll just take regular old water poisoned with flouride, chloride, clorox, things to make you grow stronger and taller.....aaaaaa.....I'm sure there's more. But flavored? Nah...had some at the airport last time. No thanks.
Carrot, you were already beautiful. You didn't need the beauty water.
I need some beauty water.
That's just gross...all of it! You're brave for trying the "water"!
I can't even watch the video because just thinking about the name makes me want to puke!
First, I love your *action* words.
Next, I don't give a flying dessert that looks like a side dish.
Because that is gross. Didn't anybody tell her that ice cream (and the works) looks fine without camouflaging it?
Oh--gotta go! I have to go make dessert: we're having cake that looks like Shepherd's Pie. I've got my work cut out for me today!
I knew there was a reason I've kept that lipstick for all those years. Now I can just add it to water and save myself some money!
And I'd just like to know what was wrong with the ice cream in the first place that she had to go and deform it like that. Seriously, if I wanted a baked potato, I'd have a baked potato.
Oh my! Thank you so much for being the poison tester. If I were queen, I would definitely hire you to taste my food before I ate it.
Scary the things companies try anymore.
I'm disturbed by her video. Even more disturbed that I sat watching it hoping it was a joke. But then I saw her Kwanzaa cake, which was even more disturbing. I guess that's 4:35 of my life I won't get back.
Thanks for the laugh!
You're funny!
I'm surprised that baked potato ice cream doesn't come with some sort of booz...
Oh man! Thank you thank you! I believe that having a good hearty belly laugh every day keeps me healthy. No, wait. Maybe it's all the potato shaped ice-cream I eat...?
Later I'm going to go to Lefty's house for some of that faux shepards pie.
Well, I made "mashed potatoes and gravy" that were really ice cream and caramel sauce once, but it was for April Fools day!
I like my potatoes to have eyes... where is the realism?
Millie is right...you are already beautiful, so just leave that beauty water alone!
Who knew that "cucumber" was code for "rancid lipstick flavor"???
Thanks for the heads up.
Also, the potato dessert? I was transfixed--who is this woman? Does she get PAID for that?
It is no wonder Sandra Lee is a skinny little twig... she spends time playing with food and making it disgusting! Who would eat it after that? What is wrong with her???
And thanks for the heads up on the flavored waters. I wasn't planning on buying any, but now know to turn it down if offered to me :D
Glad you did the taste test on the beauty water. Since you said it wasn't that good I'll avoid it. Otherwise I'd have gone and bought a case of it. I'm a sucker like that. And that potato ice cream actually looks tastey since I'm on a diet and neither item is allowed.
I'm still in a little shock over the potatoe ice cream thingy, I don't know how you can take a starchy thing and turn it into some sort of treat!? It's messing with my mind!
Thanks for the heads up on Target drinks. I am still sitting here trying to decide where you would serve a baked potato for dessert!!
WHA?
"Rancid lipstick water" - HAHAHA! :D
Baked Potato Ice Cream Lady is INSANE! :0
I like this quote from the movie "What a Girl Wants"...
"I don't give a flying fart in space!"
Rancid lipstick water?
Ewww, thanks Carrot, ou saved me $1.19 plus tax!
They must not have been too good looking... I love it! I think you should look into working for Archers Farm marketing. You could come up with way better names and descriptions of what they are trying to sell.
Maybe with you on board, they could package flying pieces of crap.
If you have any poo fling it now.
That so called "beauty water" looks like apple juice... I'm just sayin'
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