I had to close my blog to get ready for this post.
It's that important.
I have felt called to talk about this, but have had put it on the back burner for quite a while because the enormity of the problem.
"It's too big for me to lead the charge!" I'd whine to myself.
Because, you know, I am a whiner.
"I'm not a leader! I'm a follower!" I'd cry, while curled up into fetal position on my bed. Silently wondering if my stat counter was still working.
Not sure how to broach the subject with you.
I will just have to lay it all out here.
I'm not even sure if you'll get on board with me because, as I hinted to before, it's a big problem, and it's spreading.
It started in the 1800's, but as people have gotten more inventive, and creative, it's morphed into a big, ugly problem of epic proportions.
I hope as I set my plea before you, that you will take it in your arms, cradle it, and make it your own problem.
As I say, I'm a follower, not a leader.
Peanuts?
Good.
Unless you're allergic.
Circus?
Meh, okay.
Unless you're afraid of clowns.
Circus + Peanuts?
Classic fun.
Unless...
you take out the "+".
Then you, my friend, are left with...
circus peanuts
Oh yes.
Circus Peanuts.
"What??" you laugh
I knew you would.
They seem so harmless.
"It's candy, right? That's not a problem!" you say
But you are wrong.
So very, very wrong.
Something that seemed so harmless, has spread like a fungus, right under our very noses and spawned these...
*collective gasp from the audience*
"Crocs are made out of circus peanuts??" you ask, incredulously.
It's hard to believe, and I haven't been able to prove it yet, but I am almost 37% certain that they are.
I cannot be sure because I haven't actually tasted a croc yet, but I'm positive if I did, it would taste like faux bubble gum.
Just.like.a.circus peanut.
So my friends, in order to stop the croc problem, we've got to rid the world of circus peanuts.
"How do we do that?"
That, my friends, is the hard part.
Not only have circus peanuts morphed into crocs, they have morphed into nasty crap like...hot dogs, and pizza.
"Um, hot dogs and pizza?"
Oh yes.
Hot dogs and pizza.
I give you Exhibit 1:
Don't be fooled. Hot dogs do not come in miniature size, covered in corn starch, and sealed in plastic,
and neither does Exhibit 2:
That's not pepperoni, that's chewed up bubblegum resting on a nest of CIRCUS PEANUT PIZZA!
If you still don't believe me, then I ask you, when is the last time you saw hot dogs and pizza in counter top display cases??
Think on that.
I'm laying this at your feet my friends.
The enormity of this problem is too much for me.
I've got posts to pull, and whining to do.
Not to mention all the visitor tracking I do around here.
It's practically a full time job.
So, it's your problem now.
I've exposed it.
You had no idea until I brought it to light.
You are welcome, and I wish you luck.
