"Mom, I think I had an S.T.D."
*gulp*
"Oh yeah? Why do you think that?"
"Well, we were watching this movie about them in health, and they said that the warts were cauliflower shaped..."
"Uh huh"
"Yeah, well...remember that wart I had?"
"The one under my toe?"
*HUGE sigh followed by laughter* "Yes!"
"Well, I think that was an S.T.D. It looked like cauliflower."
*laughing* "Um, was your big toe sleeping around with the other toes and got a wart?"
"NO! Mom! GroSs!"
"Well, did it have sex with someone who had warts?"
"No! STOP! MOM!"
"Um, Brynn, how do you think S.T.D.'s are spread? What part of Sexually Transmitted Disease did you not get?"
"Well, I know they're spread through sex, but I thought it meant you can get them if your parents had them, like male...female...passed down."
"Oh, like gender=sex. Ohhhh. No, they're spread though sex-sex. You get them on your genitals. So, unless your toe has genitals..."
"MOM! STop saying genitals!"
"Genitals"
"Mom! STOP!"
"Sex"
"Mom!"
Just when you think they know it all...
30 comments:
rotfl *tears*
I wish I could have been a fly on the wall (figuratively in your car, of course)! Thanks for sharing that on your blog. That felt good!
lol. your poor daughter to have you torturing her about that.
I love it! I can't wait to gross my kids out.
LOL!!! That is too funny!
MOM! You are so embarrasing!!!
HAHAHAHAHA!!! So sweet too :)
Love it!!!!
Love the "what part of sexually transmitted disease did you not get?" You have such a great relationship with your kids.
Seriously funny! I snorted...
Hi there..came across your Blog while reading Laurens...Its so good and I just carried on reading and reading! Very funny and so honest...
mines at http://thelifeofchell.blogspot.com if you get a chance to check it out.
Keep well
God Bless
Rochelle
So funny! I get the same reaction just saying "bra", as in, "Do you need a new bra? Let's go to the bra section." Such dirty language we speak.
That is hilarious!!
I can't wait to tease my kids with my dirty vocabulary.
Now that I can see again- laughing so hard I had tears.
YOU ROCK!!!
That was the best ever. I wish I could remember the things my kids say like that. I think, I want to blog this and then I sit down to blog and my memory fails me. *sighs*
That's IT - my son is no longer marrying your daughter.
Seriously though, you just opened up a whole new world of Mad Lib words. "Toe genitals" - just wait till I tell Melanie. :)
That's hilarious! It's the long pause between the kids' questions and the ah-ha moment where we finally understand what they mean, that give us gray hairs.
Kind of like a 12 year old girl at standards night who asked if it was okay to have oral sex. The uncomfortable silence was broken by a wise leader asking what she thought "oral sex" was. The girl thought it meant talking about sex. The relief in the room was papable. Gray hairs were sprouting on every adult head in the room.
What is it about moms? Do you lose all sense of mortification when you give birth?
Brynn... i'm soooo sorry your mom is a meanie!
But I have to admit, I did laugh and my eyes are moist now. Sorry about that.
You are a scream!!!
The whole thing. Funny!
bwahaha...toe genitalia....hahaha
I would have DIED if I had had a mom like you. yes, DIED. But now that I think about it...I'm looking forward to torturing my own daughter. Hehehehehe!
Oh yeah, thanks for the good...
laugh.
LOL!! That's rad! I guess ISabel has an STD also because she has a wart on her toe.
You are just being a good Mom and teaching your daughter how to have fun torturing her own children in the future...
Ugh, the word sex is always painful to hear coming out of my mom's mouth. Unfortunately for me, she likes to gross me out daily.
you think I jest?
AHH! I didn't think you were serious about putting this on your blog! *blush*
Brennan says he has a wart on his toe too. It was MEANT TO BE!!!
Wait a minute, I think I have a wart on MY toe.
My husband will be thrilled when I tell him the news...
That is too funny! Ah... I can't wait to have conversations like this... hee hee...
That is so hilarious! :D
You sound like me...I just love grossing out my kids with Too Much Information, muahaha! >:)
If in doubt, see Lauren's comment above.
My goodness that was funny!! At our house all I have to do is start kissing my husband to gross out the kids. We haven't even reached the "birds and the bees" time yet.
My mom likes to gross me out like that, ha ha, sorry brynn, but that's too funny!!
That is sooo funny! I love to gross out my girls with, shhh the "sex" word! Poor girl, she will never forget that talk!
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