Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Chocolate and fruit do not love eachother.

So I'm channel surfing the other day.
I do that a lot lately when I get nauseous (Yes, I am pregnant now. That explains why I up and went crazy and deleted my blog because I felt like crap all the time. Now I have an explanation.) It's kinda like having motion sickness a few times a day. Yes, more than a couple. Part of the reason why I keep putting off this whole peanut butter cup thing. Frankly, it makes me nauseous.
Anyhoo, like I said before, then got totally off track, which I got from my mother, I was channel surfing. I happened upon a cooking show called "______ Entertaining with Michael Chiarello". I forget the first word.
The reason I stopped was chocolate. I saw him lining muffin tins with chocolate. "Oooh!" I thought to myself. "He's going to make peanut butter cups!" I love peanut butter cups, and to see someone make them on t.v. is joy that I cannot explain.
After he finished lining the tins with chocolate, he stuck it in the fridge for 1/2 hour and proceeded to make garlic spinach soup, and fruit salad. I changed the channel, until I happened upon that channel again as he was mixing up the peanutty filling, which consisted of peanut butter and powdered sugar. What could be a better match? You've got chocolate, then peanut butter mixed with powdered sugar.
He carefully mixed the filling and gently scooped it into a piping bag. "Here comes the good part!" I shouted. (okay, only in my head because I was the only one in the room) Michael squirted mounds of the peanutty goodness into each chocolate shell tempting me with every cup. It looked so creamy. So fantastic.
After he had filled all the cups, he looked up with a smile and said "And after the break, we'll be back to top it off with a banana chip, and more chocolate!"
*cue the record scratching sound effect*
My heart pounded. My mind raced.
"WAAAAAIT just a darn second! Did he just say BANANA CHIP?!? As in a dried BANANA on top of the peanut filling in a delicious peanut butter cup??"
My gag reflex started itself up. I eyed the garbage can, but then calmed myself.
"You can get through this. Maybe you heard wrong. Just wait until after the commercial and see. Maybe he said banana ship. Yeah, he was building a banana ship next to the peanut butter cups. That's it!"
I paced the floor (not really, I just kinda laid there), wondering if I had heard wrong. No one in their right mind would EVER put dried fruit in a peanut butter cup! He was back. Hovering over his wonderfully filled cups. Out came the dried bananas. He gingerly placed a dried slice of banana on each peanut butter cup.
"I'm gonna barf!" my pregnant mind said. I changed the channel.
I resolved never to watch that show again. Your loss Michael. I enjoy cooking shows. I do not, however, enjoy fruit and chocolate together.
I love fruit. I love chocolate.
I detest the two mixed together. I love fruit. I'm not so crazy about dried fruit though. I even voted dried bananas as the worst dried fruit ever.
Dried apples, good. Dried pears, good. Dried grapes, okay. Dried bananas, totally disgusting.
I love fresh bananas, but something bad happens when people dry them. Something evil. The banana morphs into something that tastes like poison. No one should eat dried bananas. Sure, it won't kill you, but it might kill your sensibilities.
I could make you addicted to disgusting forms of dried fruit. Like dried apricots. Yeah, people actually eat those. My sister offered some to my 2 year old as a snack. "Yeah, right." I scoffed. "Dried fruit with hair." Yum. I'm not totally against dried fruit. A couple of months ago I was in the store perusing the aisles for healthy snacks. I happened upon a new product from Welch's. It's little packets of dried fruit. I picked the tropical sensation because it sounded so...so...sensational, and had no bananas in it. Well, I took it home, intending to devour a packet right away. I poured out a handful, and popped it into my mouth. Mindlessly reading the internet, it took a second for my brain to register how absolutely disguting it was. It was a mixture of the worst dried fruit ever, and rancid oil. *gag* NEVER buy this. I don't care if it's on sale, and you adore dried fruit. Even I, who does not adore dried fruit, was optimistic. The words "tropical", and "sensation" should have never been picked for this product.
Now I know there is no truth in advertising. When you see this product, quickly think to yourself "I need a candybar!" then head to the candy aisle, and pick something yummy with no fruit. Let's keep our desserts untainted.

18 comments:

Mimo- JenK said...

Congratulations Carrot!!! :)

Michelle said...

Congratulations Carrot! Sorry about the sickness though, being pregnant is hard enough let alone feeling nauseated all day! *hugs*

A banana on peanut butter cups? That's seriously wrong. What is this world coming to?? I don't like dried fruit either. I do admit however, that I've actually never tried it. But it looks so very wrong. The hairy apricots did me in. Sorry it made you gag! You should write to Welchs and complain. Tell them they almost made a pregnant woman throw up.

Elizabeth-W said...

I hate to admit it, but I like orange and chocolate together.
I cannot abide dried bananas, but like most other dried fruit, especially apricots and cranberries.
You know what else I think is wrong? Pineapple on pizza. That is against all natural laws in my book.

Anonymous said...

I think I can imagine mashed bannana and chocolate and peanut butter together, but dried bannana??? ICK! You're right, it must morph into something evil... just like pineapple on pizza.. thanks for mentioning that on elizabeth!

I do confess my strangeness though, I love dried apricots. Just about the only dried fruit I do love.

White Man Retarded said...

Ahhh, back in my chef days, I would pair rasberry with chocolate, orange and chocolate, and fresh bananas with chocolate are actually pretty good. But so is peanut butter and chocolate. If you are feeling adventurous, try Nutello (hazelnut) and chocolate when making your peanut butter chocolate ensemble. Congrats on you being preggers. My wife is about 12 weeks or so, and the nausea is subsiding a little.

Millie said...

OK, I like pineapple on pizza, but then I also like mashed potatoes on pizza. So I guess I'm not to be trusted. (Hope that doesn't make you gag, Carrot.)

Dried banana chips should be outlawed for the terrible disservice they do to humanity. On what planet did this cook - and I use the term loosely - think this was a good idea? Who does that?

I hope he ate one and urpped.

Anonymous said...

Wow..I never thought I would see so many comments on this recipe. Ok..here is the thinking....I love chocolate dipped bananas...and peanut butter banana sandwich (a local fav where I grew up) so why not....

Ok so there you have it...

M. Chiarello

Anonymous said...

I used to experience frequent and painful migraines until I read the book by David Bucholtz "Heal you Headache". He said all migrainers are sensitive to certain foods, like bananas and onions. Sure enough I eliminated bananas, onions and horror of all horrors, chocolate, and no more migraines. Okay, that explaination is a little simplified, but bananas are my biggest culprit! I've spoken with other migraineurs and they've had the same banana problem. Way to go Carrot! Keep dissing bananas. Let's expose the evil migraine plot from the Banana Republics!

Super Happy Girl said...

CARROT!!!!
Hey, bloglines didn't tell me you had a new post, I get her just to ckeck on you and there IS a new post with 9 comments on it
>:( Me mad.

I like dried fruit (sorry carrot, can we still be penpals?). but do NOT mix my chocolate with dried fruit of any kind. GROSS! it's just not right at all.

Furthermore, banana chips have no taste at all, so what's the deal, just have a real banana for goodness sake.

Millie said...

Yeah - if I'm starving and all I have is a big ole Cannery can of dried banana chips, then and only then will I get my can opener. But all eating them will do is make me cry and wish I had real bananas instead of the pathetic, withered-up-like-an-old-woman version.

Or I might be really grateful and enjoy them with glee.

omar said...

That might be the longest paragraph I've ever read.

Congratulations!

Carrot Jello said...

Mimo, thanks
Michelle, thanks. I almost did write Welchs, but was too lazy. ;)
Elizabeth, I must admit, I have tried one of those chocolate oranges, and it wasn't bad. However, it didn't have real fruit in it.
Sweet Pea, everyone has their faults ;)
White man, don't get me started on nutello *gag*
Millie, now I know why I love you.
Lianne, this is the first I've heard of a fruit phobia. Run screaming from a banana eh? That's interesting. Did she slip on one when she was little?
Mr. Chiarello, hopefully their are more recipes in the world, that you don't have to go and ruin ones that are already great.
Trixie, I don't care for those people from the banana republic either. They walk around in their fancy clothes thinking they're all better than me. Whatever, people.
NCS, I'm sorry, I know you like to be first in line. Banana chips taste like flavored pressed wood. Not that I eat pressed wood or anything.
Millie, you could always build a shelter with them, or use them for wood chips.
Omar, I promise I will work harder on my writing skills. After I finish crying, that is. I had no idea that people were bothered that I don't use paragraphs.

dalene said...

Congrats and welcome back. I like you so much better than the porn. Which sort of took me completely by surprise, you know.

I was so with you on the fruit and chocolate thing until someone started dipping strawberries in chocolate and then someone else had these fabulous mandarin oranges--not the tin-tasting canned kind--at one of those chocolate fountains that are so all the rage now. I vehemently did not want to like those, but I very much did.

Best thing to dip in chocolate a chocolate fountain? Cinnamon bears.

Who knew?

Anonymous said...

Carrot... hopefully you've forgiven me at least that one fault... ;)

Compulsive writer... while I can imagine cinnamon bears are fantastic dipped into a chocolate fountain, they could not posibly be the best thing to dip in chocolate. The best thing I have ever tried to dip in the chocolate fountain is a freshly toasted marshmallow - not burnt of course, just toasted - and mmmm mmm mmmmm! You will have thought you died and gone to heaven.

Sister Pottymouth said...

I hate hairy fruit. Peel off the hair and I'm good, but I don't eat hair. (gag)

Chocolate-covered cinnamon bears? To DIE for! M&M's eaten with Hot Tamales are almost as good.

Bananas are only good if they aren't over-ripe. Then they have this horrible "smell" and are just gross. I'm not a banana fan, fresh or dried. But I do like fresh fruit dipped in chocolate and the occasional chocolate covered raisin. Raisins are only good with chocolate over them.

And congratulations on the bun!!!

wendela said...

No dried bananas for me, either. My younger daughter loves them, ONLY if from one certain store's brand (Trader Joe's). I still say, "Yuk."

Many congratulations on your pregnancy. Hope ya feel better very soon.

omar said...

I'm not bothered! Your writing is fine!

b. said...

you just up and deleted it? really? how did it feel?
did porn really take over?
I've had my finger on the delete button a lot lately.