Wednesday, January 16, 2019

I think I know why I'm on earth.

Woman: (sitting next to me reading from a cookbook) Roll out dough, and cut with glass...
I wonder why they want you to cut it with glass? Is it because it's sharp? That's weird. Couldn't you just cut with with a knife?

Me: I think they meant, "a glass".

Woman: Ohhhh! That makes more sense.


Different day...

Woman: (demonstrating how to use a "Bump It" on my friend's head) For some reason, most people have more hair on one side of their head, than the other.

Me: I think that has something to do with the way they part their hair.

Woman: Oh, I think you may be right.

Me: (thinking to myself) I am right lady.


15 comments:

Yvonne said...

And you would be very helpful to the woman who when reading the recipe that said "roll out dough on a board 1/8" thick" went all over looking for a 1/8" board.

Deena said...

Carrot Jello-- saving people from themselves--one non-thinker at a time.

That's the nicest I could word it.

Jennifer B. said...

Could we talk you into a "Dear Carrot" column?

Or could I hire you to just follow me around like Jiminy Cricket? You know, like a conscience, but common sense instead.

I'm sensing a very profitable future for you.

Stacey said...

Yay for Carrot! The voice of common sense!

Rebecca Blevins said...

*In a movie announcer's best preview voice*

"In a world rife with confusion, Carrot Jello brings peace to the masses by single-handedly stamping out confusion with her wit...and wisdom."

Word verif: Ovend. As in, "After I done needed the bread, I ovend it."

Heffalump said...

Wouldn't it be funny though if some people just had twice as much hair on one side of their head naturally?
Is there a market for glass that is specially designed to cut dough?

b. said...

Common sense...I like that.

Nathan said...

I think I need you to follow me around and correct all the stupid things I say.

Maybe in a few years I'll be free of my own idiocy.

(One can dream, right?)

Klin said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the way Glittersmama worded it.

I can't wait to see you again and enjoy the mere presence of your wit and wisdom.

Coordination Queen said...

GM worded it perfectly. I think you need to start a crusade. :)

Unknown said...

Will you write a review of the "Bump It." I've considered buying one, but I want to know what people think of the product first.

NOBODY said...

Was it the same woman?
And you know someone else who reads recipes like you do?

Personally, I'm just glad to know why I have more hair on the right side of my head. I thought I just had more dendritic growth there or something.

WV:bakeye

Lefty said...

I think it would have been public service to tell the lady instructing on how to use the Bump-It, "Don't use that. It can make you look very silly. Today's Bump-It is the equivillant of the silly big bangs in the 80's or the muscle pants in the early 90's." But then, that is just my opinion.

I'm just sayin'...

As Told By Molly said...

My hair is thinner on the left side vs right. It's true. And that's why I part it to the left.

Also, I second the motion for an Ask Carrot column. Genius idea.

(Listen to me, telling people to blog more...)

Suzee said...

And the really scary part is those people breed!