This pretty much sums up the last month and a half

Now I try to be happy and pleasant on this blog, for I know a lot of people have crappy stuff happening to them, but sometimes...
ya gotta let it out.
Besides, on average, only two people read this a week.
By next week I will probably erase it, thus only dumping on two people, which doesn't make me feel as bad.
Remember the chili cook-off?
It went fine.
That was on Friday.
Sunday morning I noticed there was standing water in my washing machine, so I ran it through a cycle hoping it would empty.
It emptied all right.
Forty five minutes later, getting ready to leave for church, I noticed the sound of water running in the basement.
"Hmmmm" I thought to myself.
"I shouldn't hear water running."
So I walked down stairs and as soon as I hit the basement floor, I hit water.
Water.
All over.
Free flowing...for 45 minutes.
I immediately start freaking out.
No one over the age of 8 is home.
I take all the laundry (dirty and clean) and throw it into the water.
Now THAT'S thinking.
I turn the water off, return upstairs and start sobbing.
"Carrot, why are you so emotional?"
Oh, didn't I tell you?
The week before that, I found out I was pregnant.
"Carrot, aren't you..."
Forty one?
Yes. Yes, I am.
Don't remind me.
Back to sobbing.
My friend came and picked up my children, and my husband came rushing home from church and started soaking up all the water.
Me?
I sat on the couch and cried.
After a while, I went down and bagged up all the laundry to take to my sister's and my mother's house that night.
The next day, thanks to my husband, the washer was repaired.
Not to be outdone, my dryer started acting up.
Can't let the washing machine get all the attention, can we?
So we limped a long.
Sometimes waiting 4 hours for it to semi dry the clothing.
There was the Primary Program.
Which went off with only one hitch.
Me.
I sat by the podium prompting children who forgot their lines.
All of the sudden, I have a dry spot in my throat, and start coughing.
You know what happens when I'm pregnant and I start coughing?
Gagging, is what happens.
Know what happens after that?
Never mind.
Let's just say I had to run out in the middle of the program.
Oh well.
So one day, my husband came home with a new dryer.
Hallelujah.
Just in time.
(Let's just throw in about 3-4 migraines, and morning noon and night sickness in the midst of everything, just for fun, k?)
***WARNING****GRAPHIC******
A week ago Saturday I'm in bed talking to my husband about 7 a.m. and feel something.
Like I peed a little.
"Huh. That was weird."
So I move like I'm getting ready to get out of bed, I look down and blood is gushing.
"GET SOME TOWELS!"



I'll stop there.
Let's just say there is no way a baby could have survived all that.



I felt extremely guilty.
Why?
Because I have been really awful about being pregnant.
Angry, and resentful.

(I fear I have just offended all my friends that can't have children, and for that, i am sorry.)

We went to the e.r. (God bless my children - they cleaned the entire mess up. Yes, therapy is in their future.)
I had an ultrasound.
A silent ultrasound.
More guilt and tears.
I get wheeled back in, checked, get some clots removed,(the doctor is getting ready to release me)and he says, "Well, you're measuring 12 weeks, and the baby is fine..."
WHA???
"It was either a hematoma (spell check would like me to change that to tomato) that filled with blood, and then burst, or it's the fibroid in your uterus..."
WHA???
I was shocked.
I've had 3 miscarriages, but nothing ever like this.
This was big.
But I'm still pregnant.
Needless to say, I won't be complaining anymore.
So the nurse takes the iv lock out and I'm on my way.
....
....
....
Then my forearm starts hurting.
At first I attribute it to a bruise from the iv, but it starts getting worse.
By the following Saturday it had moved to my upper arm.
I didn't tell my husband.
I knew he would freak out.
I've had a blood clot before.
My dad died from a blood clot.
Sunday morning he asked how my arm was.
I was so frustrated with the pain for a week, I asked him to cut it off because it had moved up.
15 minutes later, we're headed to the e.r. again.
*sigh*
blah, blah, blah...
yada, yada, yada...
I'm put on Lovenox again.

Like I said, UGH!

So, that's it.
(I left out all the minor irritations of the month. I figure you can only handle so much.)
If you made it this far, you're my hero.
If you didn't, I can totally understand.

"Carrot, you really should be grateful..."
Yes, I should.
I'm working on it.