You want to know what else has been weighing on my mind? I'll tell you. Remember when I talked about watching Michael Chiarello putting a banana chip atop a peanut butter cup? Oh yes, he did my friends. Then he took chocolate and covered it up so it looked like a regular peanut butter cup. I couldn't even finish watching the show. That's deceptive, and evil, in my opinion.
Well, apparently, he's not the only one that puts weird things in normal food. Let's use my babysitter as an example. Nicest lady ever, and insists on babysitting for me even when I don't need a babysitter. She loves to bake. Yes, she sure does. Bakes everything from cookies, to cake. Makes enough soup for an army, and sends me home with it. Problem is, she likes to add things to her recipes. Maybe she thinks it makes things interesting, I'm not sure. She'll give me "banana bread", and I'll think, "Mmmm, banana bread!" It's dark in color most of the time, and I can't really tell what's in it, so I usually have to guess. Sometimes there's chocolate chips in it, sometimes zuchinni, and sometimes raisins. All of which are fine, on their own. Why add chocolate to something fruity? Dessert, and chocolate = good, Fruit = good. Combined? Bad, very bad. Obviously, I haven't gotten the word out very well.
A couple weeks ago, she sent me home with brownies. Mmmmmm, brownies! Who doesn't like brownies? So, I take a bite, and taste something tangy. I look at the brownie, and this is what I see...
I don't know if you can see that or not, but on the upper right is a glistening red object. Oh yes, that would be a craisin. "Craisins in brownies?? Who puts craisins in brownies??" You're probably thinking to yourself, and you're not alone. That's exactly what I thought.
A couple of days after this, I take my kids to our church for an activity. They were making valentines, and cookies. When I came to pick them up, my daughters teacher gave me a paper with recipes she had typed up. I looked at the paper, and thought it was odd that she didn't give me a recipe for the cookies they had made, but at the same time was grateful, because they were hard as a rock "no bake cookies". By now I'm sure you're probably saying "Boy, what a whiner! People try and be nice, and all she can do is complain!" I hear you, and I'm sorry for being such a complainer, but just let me finish my story.
So, she hands me this paper with recipes on it. "Chocolate, Chocolate Chunk, Cookies", "Home Made Ice Cream In a Bag"...not bad, eh? The final recipe? "Devilled Eggs." Hmmmmm, I realize that I don't get out much, but I never knew this was a Valentines treat. Whenever I see deviled eggs, it's at Easter. Eggs = Easter, I'm fine with that, but Valentines Day? Odd. I was a bit intrigued, and thought perhaps I should read the recipe for some hidden Valentines ingredient. Eggs, Mayonnaise, Mustard, Salt and Pepper, etcetera, etcetera. Then I read the instructions. Everything seemed normal, until the very end...
Did you catch that?? "Devilled eggs can be made using any variety of ingredients, real onion, shrimp, or crab, applesauce..."*silence* APPLESAUCE?? Then she goes on to say, "Don't limit your mouth to the flavors in a recipe." What the heck does that mean? I'm sorry, but my mouth has limits, and putting applesauce in deviled eggs is WAY past my limit.
The gal who typed this up is getting married next month. Do you think I should warn her fiance? Honesty, I think this whole 50 states thing is a good way of getting the word out about weird things in food. Let's just leave the fruit, the desserts, the protein, separate. Your friends will thank you for it.
