Who doesn't enjoy a good whistle now and again?
I whistle at home, in my van, at the store, everywhere!
Forget "parrot backs", whistling is happiness!
***********************************************
So tonight, I'm at the Post Office waiting in line.
All of the sudden, on the radio, I hear,
"There she was just a walkin' down the street singing doo-wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo...",
and I'm thinking,
"I probably shouldn't sing here in the line at the Post Office. People will think I'm on drugs."
So I decide to whistle along.
"She walked on...woo woo woo...wooo wooo wooo wooo woooo wooo."
On and on I whistled.
All the while thinking,
"This guy in front of me must be enjoying my whistling! He keeps looking back at me."
I think some more,
"Yeah, this song is probably from his era, and I'm bringing back good memories for him! He's probably wondering how a young hot chick like me even knows this song, let alone knows how to whistle!"
He gave me one more glance, and I said,
"Am I annoying you?"
Do you know what he said to my happy, whistling self??
"I'll survive."
*silence*
I'LL SURVIVE??
Like I'm torturing him or something!
I know! Can you believe it!?
So I says to him,
"Well, I'd hate to annoy you, so I'll stop RIGHT AWAY!"
Thinking he'd say,
"Oh no! I didn't mean to offend you, go on!"
But...he didn't.
So the rest of the time I stood in line, listening to songs in silence.
"Don't pull your love out on me honey Take my heart, my soul, my money..."
Not a peep out of my mouth.
I was mentally spanking him.
"How rude! You...man with a slicked back girly hair-do! Just WHO do you think you are with your pony tail, sideburns, and reading glasses hanging off the end of your nose? What are you, like...50? Are 50 year old men supposed to be wearing pony tails? And WHAT is that slung around your body? Is that a man lunch box? IT IS! HA! You're carrying a lunch box at the post office! Bet you have to eat alone everyday because everyone annoys you!"
I'm so nice.
At least I didn't say it out loud.
Like I usual...I mean, like I sometimes feel like doing.
40 comments:
I'm sorry that the post office ponytail loser that wears his lunch box wrecked your whistling party.
"Whistling girls and crowing hens never come to very good ends." -Grandpa Frankman
So you're a whistler, eh? My son is a whistler. I like it. It makes me happy to hear him whistling.
BTW, I was on your blogsite all night long. So if you see from your sitemeter that someone spent hours and hours and hours here... it was me. I left to cut my son's hair and forgot to ever retu... EER--no. Actually, I stayed up all night reading every post you've ever written. Yeah. THAT's IT. That's what I did.;-)
Ahhhhhh, that felt so good. I work with a consultant who is a 50-something ponytail guy. With reading glasses. And he's something of a jerk, the type who would say the "I'll survive" line. So naturally, it was nice to read this post.
"As long as I know how to love, I know I'll be alive" is the first thing I thought of as a comeback, btw. I suck in those situations.
I hate public rudity! To that mean whistle hater I say, "Nice purse! Did you borrow it from your Mama?"
He can put THAT in his doo-wah-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-day!!!
"I was mentally spanking him".
*snicker*
Maybe it was a request: He wanted you to whistle "I will Survive"
I can't think of anything clever to say! How lame is that? Very lame. I am sure that you have a wonderful whistle. Some people just don't enjoy the finer things in life!!
Wooo, wooo. Do you hear me whistling because you have yet another cool background? Where do you find them?
I'm laughing with Rebecca on the spanking line!
I think you are right! Whistling is happiness! I found myself attempting (and a poor attempt it was) at whistling a nice little dity on the way home from the mall with my daughter. Unfortunately for her she is hostage to it! I'm just glad to know that the ponytail, pouting, purse pig didn't go postal on you!!
Ha ha! Great great comebacks... tempting to say out loud, isn't it?
Whistle all you want... if I was there, I'd join you! I've almost done the same in a post office line... instead, I hummed... quietly... I'm chicken like that... I would have needed someone else brave like you to start for me.
Someday I'll have you over for dinner, I'll provide the yummy food and especially delicious dessert and you can provide the whistling entertainment. After you eat of course.
You are sooooooo good that you said all that in your head and not out loud!!! I'm impressed. He's a goober. (Wish I could read that line with a Joe Pesci voice--darn)
By the way, what is the name of that song????
carrot, next time you should just go to the p.o. kiosk where you do it yourself. no standing in line behind rude men. public rudity. so wrong. i would listen to your whistling any day. oh and so, is it easier to whistle with your teeth all glamourized?
You should have switched to singing and said..."Is that better?"
He was probably secretly upset because he never learned how to whistle himself.
I completely admire your self restraint. I bet me was just grouchy because he got bologna in his lunchbox again.
That should be "he" was grouchy. "Me" was grouchy for a completely different reason.
He was just jealous that you were in a good mood! hmph. Doesn't mean you should have suffered, if he would have been quiet long enough and let himself enjoy the music maybe he would have been in a better mood. I'm a butt I would have probably just kept on whistling depending on my mood. =)
He's just never heard such whistling talent.
BUT, just today I was out at a thrift store looking for clothes to dress my child in this week for a school project and in the parking lot a lady is singing--loudly. She followed me into the thrift store where she continued to sing the song playing in the store and I could hear her all the way across the place. It made me think of your whistling. So instead of thinking she was a little whacky, I just thought she was really happy. :)
What a stupid head. I would have thrown a gatorade cap at him.
NCS stole my comment. (but I'll forgive her. I'm sure she didn't mean to.) I, too, thought that you misunderstood him. He was actually putting in a request.
Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
Oh as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive (hey-hey)
He just likes Gloria, that's all.
Since he said he would survive, you should have continued the whistle. Or (depending on your level of talent)you could have just burped along with the music.
If I am alone in the store I don't sing, however, if I have my children with me I will sing. And dance. I consider it payback for all the times my kids embarassed me by throwing tantrums in the store when they were little.
You know what you should have done? You should have grabbed him by the ponytail and pulled him up off the ground. That would have taught him a lesson.
I would have enjoyed your whistling. It's a talent I have not been blessed with. So, on behalf of poor whistle-less souls like myself, keep on whistling. The world needs you. I could do without men with ponytails, though.
Don't you usually carry scissors in your purse? You should have cut his ponytail off (secretly while he was busy being annoyed).
What is it with people? People who annoy US with their ponytails and man lunchboxes? And do we ever say anything? No. But the minute we try to entertain ourselves with some harmless whistling, they get all cranky.
This reminds me of MTV Smackdowns - Whistling Chick vs. Ponytail Dude. You would've won.
P.S. I'm going to whistle the most annoying song possible, next time I'm out in public. That is, if Bunny will unchain me from the stove and tell me where he hid my shoes.
Um I would have just kept on a whistling louder and louder but I cant whistle.So I probably would have said "Old men annoy me but Im not asking you to leave the post office" but Im mean like that I dont take crap from anyone. Ok I do, but I should let the little voice in my head do all the talking.
Upon reading both Nancy-face and Lauren's blogs daily, I have seen your comments etc. and decided to "stumble" upon your blog. And I must say that I love it. You have such an awesome sense of humor, I think I'll come visit your blog daily also, that is of course, if it's okay with you :)
maybe he was intimidated by that cake you always carry around.
lol! I come from a long line of whistlers :) I'd love to hear you whistle!
I bet he was carrying a "manpurse" you should have asked him about his "manpurse", saying, "That's an interesting purse, where did you find it?" heh, heh.
I agree he was just jealous of your whistling skills. I love whistling too maybe sometime we could do a duet.
how dare that man not enjoy your beautiful whisteling, if he only knew who you were he would not have dared to be so bold.
I have been thinking about a witty reply for 2 days now - I got it, and then I just noticed Trixie trumped me
dang.
whistle on girl.
I will whistle AND sing (or hum) and I don't give a rats a-- who hears me! I would have(wanted to)given his pony tail a tug and told him to lighten up!
Hmmmm....strange...I swear I left a comment about 5 people ago but its not there and I'm not going to repeat myself. Anyhow...your blog might be happiness...it makes Me smile anyway.
Hi Carrot. I hug you from afar. :)
I can't believe you actually asked him if you were annoying him. Wait, I can't believe you were whistling in the post office. Oh my gosh, this whole entire post is so hilarious. I have NEVER encountered a friendly person in the post office. It's like the DMV. People check their kindness and common sense at the door. Or never had it to start with. Anyway, your mental bashing of him made me laugh out loud.
Girly hair.
I sang Babe by Styx while checking out at Kroger's last week. The cashier joined in singing with me.
I wish we had known some choreography. We could have jumped up and shook it on the conveyor belts while singing and turned the grocery store into a real life Broadway musical.
"And you know it's yoooouuuu Babe, whenever I get weary and I've had enough, feel like giving up. You know it's yoooouuuu Babe, giving me the courage and the strength I need, please believe that it's true.......Babe, I love you"
Dennis DeYoung wrote that for his pet pig.
I LOVE that song.
That just ticks me off! I really don't like ticks, either.
I never learned how to whistle...yep, I'm lame like that! But I sing anywhere and everywhere, and I NEVER ask ugly ponytailed geezer men if they mind, because I pretty much don't care what they think!
And that geezer man is only four years older than me, haha! :D
Post a Comment