Monkey See, Monkey Do...

Nicholas has seen me shooting myself in the stomach a couples times now. This morning he found a pin and said "I'm gonna shoot you." I thought he was making it into a gun, but he wanted to give me a shot. "Open your shirt mom, it won't hurt." Yikes!

Out with the old...

Since our dead Christmas tree is still up, and it's driving me insane (I would be ousted from the family if I'd had taken it down Christmas day like I wanted to), I've decided to do some other cleaning.
First of all, I'm starting with all the blogs I've added to my favorites. I've collected about 100, and there's just no way in heck I can keep up with all of them. So, I've decided to give some of them the axe. Never fear, chances are, you're not on the list. These are just the ones that maybe had a post I liked, and then they never wrote in their blog again, or people that act like I'm an annoying fly. Well, be gone with you! I've got 30 other blogs I like to read! HA! I feel better already. I need funny people. I need nice people. People...people who need people...are the luckiest people...in the world. Well, I wanna be lucky dangit!
Another thing I plan to do before the night is out is....

Pose for a picture? No, no. I'm going to cut my bangs. Oh yes, I'm going to do it, and you can't stop me. My bangs are down to my nose, and it's driving me crazy. Between my bangs, and our Christmas tree, I'm almost completely insane. If one can't go, then the other one will. It's come down to the bangs. Must have bangs. I look absolutely pitiful with long bangs swept to the side. Some people can pull it off, but not me. Thinning hair, manwhiskers, and sideswept bangs just aren't attractive all stuck together on one person. Pair that with being fat, pregnant and wearing glasses...well, I'm sure you get the picture. So, I'm off. Off to find a pair of dull scissors to hack at my bangs. I'll let you know how it turns out. You know, just in case you have no New Years Eve plans or anything. Like me.

Ooh lah lahhh!

I just got an e-mail from a gal, asking if I wanted to be a hero in bed. This made me laugh, but then I thought, "Hmmm what kind of hero could I be in bed?" I've always liked the Greatest American Hero, but he's a man, so I couldn't be him.
I wonder if she meant I could choose any superhero? Like, "Make The Bed Lady!" or "Room Cleaning Woman!" Since I'd have to be the hero in bed, perhaps "Make Me Breakfast Guy!" Oh wait, that's my husband. Only joking darling. I think "The Snorer" would work well for me lately. My husband thinks I "blow" in his face too much whilst I sleep, so maybe I could be "The Blower." Oh, I don't know, the choices, there are so many!
Maybe I should wait to pick a name until I save my husband or something. You never know, he might get twisted in the sheets, and need my help to get out. Yeah, I think I'll wait to respond to that e-mail.

It's gonna be a great day!

You want to know whY?? I plucked out my manwhisker on the second try! Using only my pointer finger and my thumb! Usually it takes me a half hour of trying, then I give up, but not today! What a wonderful day, and it's only 10 a.m.!

I need my own clowns.

I need to get me some clowns.
I could get them, and they could just live here or something. Like, maybe I could keep them in my hall closet, then when I needed them I could let them out. That might scare the children though. Clowns in the closet. I could let them out when the children go to school, and they could entertain me and make me laugh. Make me balloon swords and a funny hat. They'd chase me around being silly, and I'd laugh. I'd try on their outfits, and they'd show me clown tricks. Yes. That's what I need around here. Clowns.
I did clean out my hall closet, so there is room for some in there.

I wish you could hear this...

My girls are in their bedroom, singing "Bohemian Rhapsody". It is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. Who needs clowns, when you live with these girls?

Mmmmm

My 2 year old (Nicholas),holding out his fingers to show show me: These are tasty!
Me: What do they taste like?
My 2 year old: My nose! They taste like salt!
*gag*