Sunday, November 03, 2013
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
I tried to soften two cups of butter in the microwave
today. I forgot about it and it melted instead.
I went to grab it out and saw
that my microwave message said,
"Enjoy your meal..."
So I grabbed a straw and enjoyed my meal.*
If live gives you melted butter,
and your microwave tells you to enjoy it,
Monday, October 07, 2013
In all my years of listening to it, I never really gave any thought to the song "This Old Man".
As you may know, I have a 1 year old.
I know, right?
It's been that long.
Sometimes we watch the baby channel.
O.k., it's on every day. Mostly for music.
Do you like this centered in the middle?
I feel like I should be writing poetry.
Speaking of poetry...
"This Old Man" comes on the t.v., and we happened to be watching it.
So we're watching...
he plays 1, then 2, then 3...
when all of the sudden...
my brain kicks in.
"Yeah...this isn't normal behavior."
"If an old man played three on my knee, pretty sure I'd punch him and run away."
He gets all the way to 8...
...and I'm like,
"I think this guy has dementia!"
Makes perfect sense, really.
I mean, who drums on everything (a beehive? come on!),
gives a dog a bone after every time (unless he's paying the dog off),
and then goes rolling home?
THAT'S NOT NORMAL!
And everyone sings it like it is!!
When I saw this picture, I was disturbed.
I'm not animal activist, by any stretch of the imagination, but come on!
Who plays eight on a chicken?
Where are this mans guardians?
Writing songs about him, I bet.
Probably the same people who owned that one cat.
You know, the one who went "to London to visit the Queen"?
maybe this is the same man that bumped his head, and couldn't get up 'til the morning?
Yeah, that's it.
He had a concussion.
A word to the wise,
If it's "raining" and "pouring" and you, or your old man is "snoring"...
just lay there.
Bad things can happen if you get up.